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| "The Sacrifice of Isaac" by Caravaggio |
Now the Lord said
to Abram, ‘Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the
land that I will show you. I will
make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so
that you will be a blessing. I
will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse; and in
you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.’ So Abram went, as the Lord had
told him. (Genesis 12: 1-4a)
Hello, Honey.
I
brought you something. It’s the shell you picked up by the Great Sea all those
years ago when we were in Egypt. I’ll leave it here so people will know that I
came to visit you.
I
have some good news: Isaac is getting married. Yes! She’s a nice girl from
Nahor. Her name is Rebecca. I sent Eliezer to find her. She watered all of his
camels for him—think of that! And she loves our Isaac, I think. The way you
loved me. I think she’ll be good for him. You know, he misses you so much.
To
be honest, I don’t know what he thinks of me. I think he’s still upset that I
didn’t stand up for him and refuse when God told me to make him a sacrifice. I
don’t know how I could ever make that right. But what kind of god is this! What god would ask this of a man..? Who could sacrifice his only son?! I followed God all my life. I obeyed him, but
I never understood him. I see now that he was testing me with our Isaac, but I
don’t know if I passed the test or failed. Should I have refused..? He never meant
the boy to be hurt. I don’t know. There’s so much I still don’t understand.
God
made a lot of promises to me, Sarah. He just never explained any
of them. His ways are still a mystery. He told me to leave my home and go to a land
he would show me. Who goes on a journey when they don’t know where they’re
going? But we went. And when we got to Canaan, there was nothing to eat.
So
God sends us to Egypt. That was terrible. I was so afraid. And you were so
beautiful then. I thought for sure they’d kill me to have you. I’m sorry I made
you lie about not being my wife. I put you in danger to save myself. I should’ve
trusted God, but I was weak. I’m so sorry about that, Honey.
And
I’m sorry about Hagar, too. God said we’d have a child. I thought, maybe, we’d
raise Ishmael as our own, but I should’ve known there couldn’t be two women in
the same house. But I never loved her. I only loved you. You know that, don’t
you? It’s just that we waited so long to have our child. Why would God
do that..? Why would he make a promise and drive me to despair waiting to see
if he’d make good on it..?
And
now, after all of the struggles, I wonder if it was all worth it. And you. You
just laughed. But you were more faithful to me than I was to God. You trusted.
I worried, but you trusted.
I
still don’t know what’s going to happen. I think the kids will be alright. This
Rebecca will make a good wife for our boy. She seems a little bossy, but that’s
probably what he needs. As long as she loves him. That’s what matters. As long
as he’s happy and faithful to God.
I
miss you, Sweetie. But don't worry. I'm old. We’ll be together again soon.
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