A Shout-Out to Geezer Parents (Reflections on Lent 2, Year B 2024)

 

"Abraham" Barbieri (Italian 17th Cent.)

“I will establish my covenant between me and you, and your offspring after you.” (Genesis 17:7)

Boy. Abraham is sure one old dude when God reminds him of the blessing God plans to bestow on him in our First Lesson from the Revised Common Lectionary for Lent 2, Year B (Genesis 17:1-7, 15-16).  God says Abraham’s going to be a daddy at the ripe old age of 100 years. His wife Sarah is 90, which makes parenthood for this couple seem, to say the least, somewhat unlikely. Of course, nothing is impossible for God (Especially in the Old Testament!). And, to quote the late Yogi Berra, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”

I can’t say that I’ve known any centenarian or nonagenarian parents, but I do know that lots of older folks are finding themselves raising kids these days. I’ve often spoken about my buddy Rich out in Wisconsin. When we were young we ran around as only two young idiots—either one of whom could get into enough trouble on his own—would do. But today, Rich is a very stable and very conscientious father. He’s 64-years-old. His son is 10. I’m the same age but I can’t imagine what it takes to be keeping tabs on a bright and energetic ten-year-old, helping him with school work, taking him to his myriad extra-curricular activities, and planning all the camping and fishing excursions dads like doing with their sons. I’m not sure I have the energy to do what my erstwhile brother in youthful foolhardy shenanigans does every day.

But Rich isn’t the only elderly parent. Lots of folks who felt pretty sure their child-rearing days were behind them suddenly find themselves looking after grandchildren because parents are divorcing or have become homeless or have a problem with drugs or are in some way incapable or irresponsible. I’ll bet a lot of my fellow geezers are saying, “I can’t do this. I’ve already done my part. I don’t have the energy, the stamina, or the wisdom to start raising a child all over again at my age.” Of course, nothing is impossible for God.

Abraham, however, actually wants to be a dad in his maturity, but he keeps having to wait for God to come through for him. God keeps having to reassure Abraham, whom, ironically, Saint Paul praises for his faith in the Second Lesson for Lent 2 (Romans  4:13-25). You can understand why Abraham waits somewhat impatiently on the Lord because his journey of faith wasn’t exactly a day at Disneyland. Before he even gets to the land of Canaan he has a family squabble with his nephew, Lot. Then he reaches the land God has promised him, and—wouldn’t you know it?—there’s a famine. Then he goes down to Egypt where the Pharaoh almost steals his wife from him. Then he’s got to rescue his nitwit nephew from brigands. He tries to outthink God and knocks up his wife’s serving maid which, as you can imagine, causes considerable domestic unpleasantness. Abraham may have been the Father of Many Nations, but it must’ve seemed to him at times like he just couldn’t catch a break.

‘Ever feel that way yourself?

Our lives consist of a whole lot of waiting—waiting for some blessed event or opportunity or for some really crappy experience to pass. I think that’s why the early Church gave us this season of Lent. It’s a time to practice our waiting skills by praying more, fasting from our distractions, and being a little more sensitive to the needs of others than we are to our own stuff. In the Gospel lesson (Mark 8:31-38) Jesus tells the disciples they’re going to have to wade through some pretty ugly issues before everything starts making sense to them and they can proclaim Jesus as the Messiah the way God intended the Messiah to be proclaimed. Poor old Peter, out of the best of compassionate intentions I’m sure, scolds Jesus for even suggesting that rejection and crucifixion are going to be part of the deal. Jesus has to bring him up short and tell him he’s locked into a false, worldly idea of what God’s glory is like, and he needs to get over it. It sounds pretty nasty to us when Jesus calls Peter “Satan.” I think that’s because we associate the name with some scary red dude with horns who personifies evil. Remember that the name “Satan” just means “adversary.” An adversary is anyone or anything that stands in the way of what really ought to happen. We couldn’t know our Savior or know he knows us if he didn’t suffer as we do. It had to happen, just as Abraham had to endure his time of trial and testing before God’s promise could be made real to him.

I could never imagine the raucous pal of my misspent youth being the caring and dedicated father my friend Rich is today. Now that he’s a retiree he has little to focus on but creating—along with his wife, of course—the best possible life for his young son. He seems to be taking better care of his own health, too, and he seems more content and interested in life than I’ve ever known him to be. I don’t question that it’s a burden of sorts for other older people to find themselves suddenly back in the parenting role, but it might also be a precursor to some blessings.

Yup, old age has its indignities. We get stouter, we ache more, we can’t hear, can’t remember where we put the car keys, and we’re always thinking about having to pee. But I think we are also more patient, more accepting, and less distracted by the quotidian adiaphora which clouded our vision and our priorities when we were younger. Perhaps we’ve learned the secret of how to wait and, with it, the magic that is the ability to hope. We discover a contentment from believing our hope may not be realized in our own time, but, because we have been faithful, in God’s time and in God’s way the ends will be glorious.

So glad you joined me today. Thanks for reading, and don’t be shy about dropping me a note to tell me you’ve been here. I’d love to hear from you.

Oh! And P.S. - My reflections on these passage will be preached on the 99^th anniversary of the birth of one of the few surviving charter members of my parish. Happy Birthday, Miss Flo, and, like Abraham and Sarah, may you have many, many more!