Danielle[i] was the single mother of
three. She was also an opioid addict. She fought bravely with her disease, but
the authorities removed all three children from her custody shortly after she
gave birth to her third. Because the children’s father is in prison, Marc and
Sue, a compassionate couple, took in the children and conscientiously included their
birth mother in their lives. Danielle was able to visit with the kids and
maintain a relationship while she fought to get her life back on track.
But her life never got back on track. She
died of an overdose a few weeks ago. She was 33 years old.
As I read the funeral liturgy for
Danielle, I watched this newly-created family. There were two boys, 13 and 9,
and a little girl of 7. They looked healthy and neat and respectful. Marc sat
with his arm around the younger boy, comforting him as a father should.
I thought to myself, “These kids have been
through a lot. Their dad is in jail. Their
mom is dead. Who knows what kind of memories may haunt them? What kind of
people are moved to take in a stranger’s children and raise them as their own? Has
this couple thought about what they’re getting themselves into? They must be
some pretty righteous folks if they’re willing to take on this burden.”
Righteous. In our gospel lesson appointed
for Advent 4, Year A (Matthew 1:18-25), Joseph is described as being a “righteous
man” (v. 19). Bible scholars are on the fence about what Matthew meant when he
so described the guardian of our Lord. Was Joseph righteous because he had
compassion for his betrothed even though she seems to have committed adultery,
or was he righteous because, according to the purity standards of his society,
he would not be yoked to a woman who had so obviously committed a sin? Perhaps both
interpretations are accurate.
The Bible says Joseph “planned to dismiss
her quietly.” This speaks to his compassion, but it also get him off the hook. Don’t
you ever wish you could just quietly dismiss the causes of anxiety in your
life? The people who—maybe even in spite of their best intentions—are the
source of your sleepless nights? Don’t you wish you could do away with all the
mess in your life neatly and without further aggravation?
But that isn’t how it works out, is it?
God’s way is so often very messy. God’s way calls for you to go down streets
the society teaches you to avoid, and to deal with situations which aren’t of
your making, but a righteous love of God’s justice and mercy compels you to
address. Dirty jobs that someone has to
do, and that someone is you. God is calling you to take on others’ burdens,
engage with strangers, and trust that God’s hand is in this.
I wonder if Joseph suffered any for
obeying God. Did the society look askance at him because he was willing to be
the husband of a woman they considered a whore? Perhaps he knew that the
prophet Hosea had done just the same thing and yet was accounted an instrument
of God. Did Joseph worry about the son he was taking on? Would the “righteous”
folks look down on this boy because his parentage was in doubt and he couldn’t
be proven to be 100% Jewish? How was Joseph to parent a lad like this?
Sometimes God calls us to frightening
tasks. Our Christmas story of Mary and Joseph is the miracle story of simple
people like Marc and Sue who can see the Word made flesh, and are willing to
say “yes, Lord.”
Thanks for reading, my friend. May God
grant you a blessed week and give you strength in the tasks he has set before
you.
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