Paul and Jessica's Wedding Homily

Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him. (John 2:11)

When you’re a kid you think of the story of Jesus turning water into wine (John 2:1-11) as just a magic trick which impressed folks. Now, I think of it as one of the best allegories for what happens in a really good marriage.

First, a little background. In Jesus’ day, weddings were just as big a hairy deal as they are today. In fact, the business involved the whole village and could go on for the better part of a week. There were processions and feasts and gift-giving like we have now, but in a considerably protracted form. That’s why it was important to have a LOT of wine. When the vino ran out, the party was over.

And, of course, just like today, people wanted to impress. Ever been to an Italian wedding? You know, where the measure of a man is how big a shindig he can throw on his little girl’s big day? Most kids in America could put a pretty decent-sized down payment on a house for what they blow on a wedding. Folks in Jesus’ time wanted to show off just as much as any bride-zilla does these days.

That’s why they served the good wine first. Just as the scripture tells us. After two or three days of straight drinking you may not care what you guzzle down, but while the guests still had some kind of a palate, it made a great impression to serve the good stuff.

In the story, however, the wine runs out too soon. You can understand why Jesus’ mom is concerned. This is embarrassing, and she needs her boy to do something to save the situation. So he does. And it’s good to have Jesus at a wedding. Why? Because our faith teaches us that what we have in Jesus is unconditional love, forgiveness, and the kind of supernatural regard which makes sacrifice for another possible. And if we believe in that—if that faith lives in us—we can deal with just about anything else. The past disgrace gets poured out, and it becomes the present and future joy.

Both of you have been through some rough times and relationships in the past. But today you acknowledge that God isn’t done with you, that there’s more to your lives. The good wine hasn’t been consumed yet—only the bath water. Today you let Christ turn that bath water into the wine of celebration. And if you continue to have faith in who God is and what God does and wants for you, there’s even better wine waiting down the road.

A lot of church people say, “It isn’t like it was in the old days.” No, and it won’t be again. But we have to believe that God is always in the process of making things new, that there is still good wine we haven’t tasted yet.

So! I’ll leave you with my standard exhortation for wedding couples, but I think it holds for all relationships. There is an old Church of England liturgy for the exchange of rings that reads, “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.”

I like the phrase, “With my body, I thee worship.” I don’t think about the “body” part so much. It’s not about sex, but about the very idea of worship. How do we worship? We pray, of course. So people should pray together. We sing hymns or songs of praise. So praise is essential to a relationship. Whether your praise your spouse to their face or behind their back—never lose sight of their value and virtues. We gather at the table for a meal; therefore eating together, sharing family time, is crucial. But I think the most important element is what we do at the font. We confess and receive forgiveness.

If we can learn the phrases “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” and say them from our hearts, we—and you two, my dears—will withstand anything. That’s the miracle of transformation.