Thomas' Beautiful Doubt (Reflections on Easter 2, Year B)

Doubting Thomas painted by Caravaggio

Don’t you dig Thomas? He’s a pretty straight shooter if you ask me. He’s one of the few apostles who emerge as a personality in the Gospels. Actually, if I’m accurate, he emerges as a personality in John’s Gospel and he’s only a name in the other three. But he takes center stage on this Sunday after Easter when he earns his nickname of “Doubting Thomas.”

We see Thomas’ character break out in John chapter 11 when Jesus declares that he’s going back to Bethany to raise Lazarus from the dead. The other disciples advise the Lord against this trip as the Judeans haven’t exactly embraced him with love and kisses. In fact, they were perfectly willing to stone him to death as a blasphemer. Seeing that Jesus can’t be talked out of this journey, Thomas rather fatalistically tells the rest of the posse, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” (Jn. 11 v.16) Now, this is either some pretty brave talk from a guy who looks forward to being remembered as a martyr, or a darn rational assessment of what loyalty to Jesus really means. Either way, it’s straight talk and you have to admire the guy for speaking his mind.

In John 14, Thomas pipes up again when Jesus informs the twelve that he’s going to the Father, and they know the way he is going. (Jn. 14:1-7) I imagine Thomas shaking his head with a big “Say what..??” kind of look on his face. He takes this saying of Jesus’ very literally. “Lord, we don’t know where the heck you’re going. Do you really expect us to know how to get there?” But Jesus, of course, is speaking about the spiritual way, the process of being, which draws us to reconciliation with God. I love that Thomas doesn’t seem to get it, but, again, you have to love him for speaking up. He doesn’t just nod his head and look like he’s digging it when he doesn’t understand. He’s simple, but he’s honest.

And so, we can’t blame Thomas too much when he can’t seem to wrap his head around the news of Jesus’ resurrection in this week’s Gospel lesson (Jn. 20: 19-31). Stuff like this just doesn’t happen in his world view. And why would he want to believe something which sounds good but could only lead to more of the hurt he’s already experienced should it prove not to be true? So I respect the old boy for his doubts.

There are two beautiful take-aways in this story, I think. First, Thomas wants to see Jesus’ wounds. This may seem like cruel voyeurism, but it’s not the same as slowing down to look at a car wreck on the freeway. I don’t think we ever really know someone until we’ve seen them hurt. When we see others’ wounds and realize that they suffer just as we do, we grow in empathy for them, and that makes us love them more. Perfection is just not relatable. A perfect, impervious god is just too far away from us for us to know how to love him. We love Jesus because he gets us—he’s suffered every way we’ll suffer. He knows us, and when we see him on the cross we know him, too.

But the real beauty of this story might be the importance of doubt. We should be grateful to old Thomas for simply voicing the question we all have: Is this real?

Here we see Jesus at his most tender. He’s willing to prove things to Thomas, but he gently takes him to task by saying that those who have no proof of the resurrection are even more blessed when they believe it.

Why?

Because those who have not seen but move forward anyway have true faith. Faith requires a level of uncertainty.

Without faith, we take no chances. We only rely on what we know in certainty. And how boring is that..? Look at the Hebrew Scripture lesson assigned for this week, Acts 4:32-35. Here those whacky early Christians take a kamikaze plunge into a radical way of living. They actually give up all of their earthly possessions in the belief that they can change the world through loving generosity. They trust the apostles to redistribute the wealth in a way which will preach love and compassion. They brazenly walk away from the traditions of their people and their own families, and they even embrace complete strangers and outsiders with love. They stand against the culture of their time, and openly embrace the possibility of death for their actions and beliefs. Thomas, in fact, is said to have forsaken his homeland in order to spread the word about Jesus to Parthia and India. Church tradition holds that Indian priests reacted to his missionary activities by killing him with a spear.

And how did these early believers know that their actions wouldn’t all be for nothing?

They didn’t.

They had faith.

Without doubt, we have no faith. Without faith, we take no risks. Without risk, we have no growth. Without growth, we have no life.

Oh Wounded God, thank you for giving us both faith and doubt. Help us all to believe in the promise of Eternal Life. Help us step forward in hope and courage. You also have known our moments of worry. Teach us your obedience. May we, like Thomas, be honest, loyal to you, and always seeking your way, Our Lord and Our God. Amen.